Identifying the Weak Thesis Statement

1. A. I’m going to write about Darwin’s concerns with evolution in The Origin of the Species.

• This thesis statement is weak because for one it starts off with “I’m going to write,” which we already know that the person writing the essay is obviously writing it, so that doesn’t need to be stated. Secondly, it doesn’t give many specifics towards what the essay is going to be about, and doesn’t raise any question for the reader to think about after reading the thesis statement.

2. A. An important part of one’s college education is learning to better understand others’ points of view.

• Just like in the previous thesis statement, there aren’t many specifics on the essay and leaves the reader with no questions of what the essay is about.

3. B. The jeans industry targets its advertisements to appeal to young adults.

• This thesis statement is short and doesn’t have much detail, adding specifics like they do in the better thesis statement would be the correct way.

4. A. Othello is a play about love and jealousy.

• Once again, this thesis statement is short and doesn’t give specific examples towards what the essay will be about or raise any sort of interest to read the essay.

5. A. The songs of the punk rock group Minor Threat relate to the Feelings of individuals who dare to be different. Their songs are just composed of pure emotion. Pure emotion is very important in music, because it serves as a vehicle to convey the important message of individuality. Minor Threat’s songs are meaningful to me because I can identify with them.

• This really isn’t a thesis statement at all. A thesis statement should be one sentence that explains what the essay will be about, but still leave question and make the essay appealing to the reader. This “paragraph” should be used as part of the body of the essay rather then the thesis statement.

My own thesis statement for essay #3:

Tim O’Brien may not describe the events of the Vietnam War in depth or with much evidence, but he does tell of his experience and the moments that truly stuck with him. Tim O’Brien’s writing style enables the reader to be able to decipher what they believe to be truth or fiction.

• I believe this is a strong thesis statement which could be backed up with evidence, and people who have read “The Things They Carried” could argue the statement or agree.

Works Cited:

1. "Thesis Funnel." English@kkc. Web. 31 Oct 2010.<http://ncowie.wordpress.com/2007/10/02/writing-a-thesis-statement/>.

Mid Term Letter

Dear Mrs. Cline


This class has been a huge challenge, but in a good way. I have learned many things from this class so far, and can’t wait to learn more. The writings have been somewhat of a challenge, not because the work is hard, but because I have a hard time finding the time to sit down by myself and just simply write. Learning to find the time to write while taking care of my daughter has been hard, I mostly have to wait until she is asleep and do all my work at night. I would say my biggest success in the class would be finishing my readings and working extremely hard on my papers. When I finish with a paper, I feel the joy of accomplishment that I have succeeded in finishing what I had started.

The readings in this class have been very interesting, and full of many great stories. After reading the war stories, and the stories from the beginning of class, they are very deep and interesting. Most of the stories are so realistic that you feel that you are right there. Since the readings have been so enjoyable, it has made the work that goes along with it extremely enjoyable to do and not looked at so much as “work”. One of the main challenges I have had in class is learning how to do literary writing. I have done some literary writing before, but never had that much experience with it. This writing really causes you to think and tear apart the writing to get the logistics behind the story.
I have many goals for the second session of this English class. Continuing to work hard on all assignments in class is my main goal, along with continuing to get good, if not better grades. I also would like to make improvements in my writing as much as possible. I am a terrible procrastinator and really have been working on doing better at spending more time on my work. These are some of my goals for our English class, and I hope to continue to succeed.



Sincerely,

Kara Thomas

Summary vs. Analysis

On the Rainy River tells one short story of the author, Tim O’Brien, back in the late 1960’s and finding out he is being drafted into the war. He had just graduated college and was looking forward to starting his future. When he got drafted, he didn’t know what to do, he did not tell his parents and especially did not want to fight a war he did not believe in, and did not know much about. He decided to run away with hopes of going across the Canadian boarder; this was his only chance to escape the war. After driving a couple days, he located a house and decided to know on the door. “Even after two decades I can close my eyes and return to that porch at the Tip Top Lodge. I can see the old guy staring at me. Elroy Berdahl: eighty-one years old, skinny and shrunken and mostly bald” (46).

O’Brien stayed with Elroy for six days, and repaid him by working around the lodge. On the sixth day of staying, Elroy and O’Brien went out fishing on the Rainy River, on one side was American ground, and crossing that river meant he had crossed the Canadian boarder. O’Brien was torn on whether to cross over to Canada to state his new found freedom, or to turn around and head back home and fight the war. In the end, he decided he must go home and face his fears, the Vietnam War.

After reaching the Canadian boarder while fishing with Elroy, O’Brien starts to feel the pressure of the war and everything going on around him. “A hallucination, I suppose, but it was as real as anything I would ever feel. I saw my parents calling to me from the far shoreline…like some outlandish sporting event: everybody screaming from the sidelines, rooting me on – a loud stadium roar” (55). Stuck between the two sides of what he sees as freedom and being stuck in a situation he does not believe is fair, he imagines all his family, friends and people he hardly knows standing on the American side cheering him on to come home. His emotions have gotten the best of him, and fear is the only thing holding him back from returning home and drafting for the war. His decision to turn around and go home was based on his beliefs on what were right and partly the influence of the people he knew he would be leaving behind. “…then to Vietnam, where I was a soldier, and then home again. I survived, but it’s not a happy ending. I was a coward. I went to the war” (58). He faced his fears of the war, went and made it back. 

Sources

1.  "Tim O'Brien." Pirate's Alley. Web. 3 Oct 2010. .