Identifying the Weak Thesis Statement

1. A. I’m going to write about Darwin’s concerns with evolution in The Origin of the Species.

• This thesis statement is weak because for one it starts off with “I’m going to write,” which we already know that the person writing the essay is obviously writing it, so that doesn’t need to be stated. Secondly, it doesn’t give many specifics towards what the essay is going to be about, and doesn’t raise any question for the reader to think about after reading the thesis statement.

2. A. An important part of one’s college education is learning to better understand others’ points of view.

• Just like in the previous thesis statement, there aren’t many specifics on the essay and leaves the reader with no questions of what the essay is about.

3. B. The jeans industry targets its advertisements to appeal to young adults.

• This thesis statement is short and doesn’t have much detail, adding specifics like they do in the better thesis statement would be the correct way.

4. A. Othello is a play about love and jealousy.

• Once again, this thesis statement is short and doesn’t give specific examples towards what the essay will be about or raise any sort of interest to read the essay.

5. A. The songs of the punk rock group Minor Threat relate to the Feelings of individuals who dare to be different. Their songs are just composed of pure emotion. Pure emotion is very important in music, because it serves as a vehicle to convey the important message of individuality. Minor Threat’s songs are meaningful to me because I can identify with them.

• This really isn’t a thesis statement at all. A thesis statement should be one sentence that explains what the essay will be about, but still leave question and make the essay appealing to the reader. This “paragraph” should be used as part of the body of the essay rather then the thesis statement.

My own thesis statement for essay #3:

Tim O’Brien may not describe the events of the Vietnam War in depth or with much evidence, but he does tell of his experience and the moments that truly stuck with him. Tim O’Brien’s writing style enables the reader to be able to decipher what they believe to be truth or fiction.

• I believe this is a strong thesis statement which could be backed up with evidence, and people who have read “The Things They Carried” could argue the statement or agree.

Works Cited:

1. "Thesis Funnel." English@kkc. Web. 31 Oct 2010.<http://ncowie.wordpress.com/2007/10/02/writing-a-thesis-statement/>.

Mid Term Letter

Dear Mrs. Cline


This class has been a huge challenge, but in a good way. I have learned many things from this class so far, and can’t wait to learn more. The writings have been somewhat of a challenge, not because the work is hard, but because I have a hard time finding the time to sit down by myself and just simply write. Learning to find the time to write while taking care of my daughter has been hard, I mostly have to wait until she is asleep and do all my work at night. I would say my biggest success in the class would be finishing my readings and working extremely hard on my papers. When I finish with a paper, I feel the joy of accomplishment that I have succeeded in finishing what I had started.

The readings in this class have been very interesting, and full of many great stories. After reading the war stories, and the stories from the beginning of class, they are very deep and interesting. Most of the stories are so realistic that you feel that you are right there. Since the readings have been so enjoyable, it has made the work that goes along with it extremely enjoyable to do and not looked at so much as “work”. One of the main challenges I have had in class is learning how to do literary writing. I have done some literary writing before, but never had that much experience with it. This writing really causes you to think and tear apart the writing to get the logistics behind the story.
I have many goals for the second session of this English class. Continuing to work hard on all assignments in class is my main goal, along with continuing to get good, if not better grades. I also would like to make improvements in my writing as much as possible. I am a terrible procrastinator and really have been working on doing better at spending more time on my work. These are some of my goals for our English class, and I hope to continue to succeed.



Sincerely,

Kara Thomas

Summary vs. Analysis

On the Rainy River tells one short story of the author, Tim O’Brien, back in the late 1960’s and finding out he is being drafted into the war. He had just graduated college and was looking forward to starting his future. When he got drafted, he didn’t know what to do, he did not tell his parents and especially did not want to fight a war he did not believe in, and did not know much about. He decided to run away with hopes of going across the Canadian boarder; this was his only chance to escape the war. After driving a couple days, he located a house and decided to know on the door. “Even after two decades I can close my eyes and return to that porch at the Tip Top Lodge. I can see the old guy staring at me. Elroy Berdahl: eighty-one years old, skinny and shrunken and mostly bald” (46).

O’Brien stayed with Elroy for six days, and repaid him by working around the lodge. On the sixth day of staying, Elroy and O’Brien went out fishing on the Rainy River, on one side was American ground, and crossing that river meant he had crossed the Canadian boarder. O’Brien was torn on whether to cross over to Canada to state his new found freedom, or to turn around and head back home and fight the war. In the end, he decided he must go home and face his fears, the Vietnam War.

After reaching the Canadian boarder while fishing with Elroy, O’Brien starts to feel the pressure of the war and everything going on around him. “A hallucination, I suppose, but it was as real as anything I would ever feel. I saw my parents calling to me from the far shoreline…like some outlandish sporting event: everybody screaming from the sidelines, rooting me on – a loud stadium roar” (55). Stuck between the two sides of what he sees as freedom and being stuck in a situation he does not believe is fair, he imagines all his family, friends and people he hardly knows standing on the American side cheering him on to come home. His emotions have gotten the best of him, and fear is the only thing holding him back from returning home and drafting for the war. His decision to turn around and go home was based on his beliefs on what were right and partly the influence of the people he knew he would be leaving behind. “…then to Vietnam, where I was a soldier, and then home again. I survived, but it’s not a happy ending. I was a coward. I went to the war” (58). He faced his fears of the war, went and made it back. 

Sources

1.  "Tim O'Brien." Pirate's Alley. Web. 3 Oct 2010. .

Tim O'Brien Video Response

Sorry guys..i got cut off in my first video cause my screen saver came on, so there is now 2 videos!!

Poetry of Witness Response

The woman hanging from the thirteenth floor window is not a literal interpretation, rather a representation of a woman who expresses hopelessness and is unsure whether she can rediscover herself. Her struggles come from deeper issues relating to her family, the previous men in her life and the stages of being a woman. She is not alone when dealing with all these emotions. “She is a woman of children, of the baby, Carlos, and of Margaret, and of Jimmy who is the oldest. She is her mother’s daughter and her father’s son. She is several pieces between the two husbands she has had. She is all the women of the apartment building who stand watching her, watching themselves” (10-15). The woman hanging from the thirteenth floor window struggles with complicated issues that most women go thru in their lifetime. She speaks with jealousy of people with higher wealth status while realizing her own faults. “It is a dizzy hole of water and the rich live in tall glass houses at the edge of it” (20-21). As she stands at the edge of her own reality she starts to realize some good in her life. The joys of being a mother bring her back, and thinking of her family and the women she was which has transformed her into the women she is now. The woman had hit rock bottom, “she thinks of 4 a.m. lonelinesses [SIC] that have folded her up like death, discordant (lack of harmony), without logical and beautiful conclusion...she sees the sun falling west over the grey plane of Chicago” (56-58, 61-62). She interprets the end of her sorrow as getting ready to jump from the thirteenth floor, but then she is able to pull herself off the ground and start to rebuild her life. “She thinks she remembers listening to her own life break loose, as she falls from the 13^th floor window on the east side of Chicago, or as she climbs back up to claim herself again” (63-66). The woman hanging from the thirteenth floor window is a mother going through depression while dealing with life struggles just as I too am a mother dealing with the challenges of life.

I believe that I can be the woman hanging from the thirteenth floor window. The hardship that is expressed throughout this poem made it easy for me, and probably most women, to relate with my own life experiences. Dealing with the stress of being a single mother, moving away from home, getting a new job, going to a new school and dealing with present and past relationships have been some obstacles that I have had to overcome. At times I can also see myself hanging on by a thread but have to make my own decisions towards which way to lead my life. “But she is the woman hanging from the 13^th floor window, and she knows she is hanging by her own fingers, her own skin, her own thread of indecision” (46-48). Jealousy is a common factor among people, always wanting what you don’t have. I get jealous, but I have learned to use that jealousy towards improving myself. As I have made it through difficulties in life, I find that there are reasons why I pick myself up off the floor and not stay in a depression state. I do it for my family, for the satisfaction of becoming somebody I have always wanted to be, but mostly for my daughter and myself.

Sources:

"Abhinav Jain ." Web. 18 Sep 2010. <http://bibliosity.blogspot.com/2009/01/woman-hanging-from-thirteenth-floor.html>.

    Poems are a way to reflect emotions and events that occur in a sequence that takes you on a journey into the poets mind, which then can try to be interpreted and understood. Joy Harjo does just that in her poem, “The Woman Hanging from the Thirteenth Floor Window.” After reading Harjo’s writing, one would start to understand a woman and their struggles as she portrays them. “The woman hanging from the 13^th floor window on the east side of Chicago is not alone. She is a woman of children…She is several pieces between the two husbands she has had. She is all the women of the apartment building who stand watching her, watching themselves” (Harjo). The author allows one to not only relate to an instance in particular, but is showing how most women have felt sometime in their lives. This poem certainly stuck out to me over the rest because I am a woman, a mother, a student and a worker who struggles through each day. The stresses that have to be dealt with on a day to day basis can cause people to feel as though they are hanging right there on the edge, debating letting go or to keep pushing forward. Personally, everyone has hard times dealing with certain situations, me especially, and finds it even harder to move on and use the knowledge of our past in our future. Harjo tells of sorrow and suffering just as Wislawa Szymborska writes about the tragic day of September 11^th. Szymborska writes about the people who were stuck in the twin towers on September 11^th, and this poem really hit home because most of us will always remember when this tragic event happened. “They jumped from the burning floors- one, two, a few more, higher, lower” (Szymborska), her use of simple detail allows your imagination to create its own image even if there was no picture provided.

            Each of the poems we’ve read has had real emotion and a true meaning, these two were the one’s which really made me think and want to read again and again.

Sources:

1.  "Under Pressure." Web. 8 Sep 2010. <http://www.whatsonxiamen.com/health914.html>. 

Sam Hamill Essay Response

           Sam Hamill’s writing, “The Necessity to Speak” was truly inspiring. He got straight to the point and didn’t just tell people what they wanted or were expecting to hear; he gave the cold hard truth. I was unaware about the depth and journey I would be taken on in his writing, just as I was taken on a similar journey while reading poems from Poetry of Witness. Joy Harjo takes you first hand through the eyes of a struggling women in her writing “The Women Hanging from the Thirteenth Floor Window,” just as Hamill describes the struggles battered and raped women have on an emotional and physical level. These authors are bringing us face to face with our own fears and making us take the plunge into emotions we try not to come into contact with.

            Hamill states, “we find poetry embarrassing” (547). The sufferings these poets are writing about aren’t something that is openly spoken and this is why poetry can really help someone express true feelings and emotions.  People don’t want to hear of murder, rape and battered women; they believe that if it doesn’t reach their thoughts then there is no possibility of it occurring to them or someone they love. “We persuade ourselves that perhaps, if we don’t talk about sex, sexual involvement won’t happen too soon. And perhaps, if we don’t think about our daughters loving a batterer, that won’t happen either. Our silence grants violence permission” (Hamill 550). This fragment of Hamill’s writing really hit home for me, knowing the fact that I have a daughter myself. You can’t hide behind reality, you have to understand and make use of your knowledge. Yet people still shelter themselves and in return shelter their children from real facts. These facts might not be pretty or candy coated, but neither is the society we live in. By warning my daughter when she is old enough about the hardship of being a women may not be easy, but could one day help protect her. Hamill is simply trying to help people understand reality that is written on paper, which we call poetry.

Sources:

1. Web. 3 Sep 2010. <http://www.mhs.no/article_883.shtml>.